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Calguns LEOs LEOs; chat, kibitz and relax. Non-LEOs; have a questions for a cop? Ask it here, in a CIVIL manner.

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  #1  
Old 09-06-2017, 11:20 PM
theme57 theme57 is offline
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Default What can my friend do?

Hello LEO,

I am not sure if this is the right section, but here it goes!

My friend, living alone, hooked up with a guy off an online dating app at her place. She decided to break it off and told the guy. After a week the guy would periodically message her on the dating app and her phone every couple of days in which she would decline or otherwise block him. Each time she would block him, he could make a new account and message her that way for over a month and a half at this point. Just a couple of days ago he called her from outside her apartment. She told him to stop contacting her, hung up and blocked his number. Now she is pretty shaken up and is thinking about contacting the police, but doesn't want to make a big deal out of it.

She lives in a nice part of San Jose, her apartment requires an electronic key to enter the building and her room. She is a pretty cautious gal with pepper spray, outdoor parking and comes home early before 4PM during school days. What can my friend do in this situation?
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  #2  
Old 09-06-2017, 11:24 PM
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She needs to contact her local police and file a report for stalking, and also get a restraining order against him. That will usually be enough, but she needs to remain vigilant.
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  #3  
Old 09-06-2017, 11:29 PM
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If it were my daughter, we would be down at the police department making a report and giving them all the information on the guy she had.



Cal Pen Code 646.9 . Stalking. (2008)
(a) Any person who willfully, maliciously, and repeatedly follows or willfully and maliciously harasses another person and who makes a credible threat with the intent to place that person in reasonable fear for his or her safety, or the safety of his or her immediate family is guilty of the crime of stalking, punishable by imprisonment in a county jail for not more than one year, or by a fine of not more than one thousand dollars ($1,000), or by both that fine and imprisonment, or by imprisonment in the state prison.

(b) Any person who violates subdivision (a) when there is a temporary restraining order, injunction, or any other court order in effect prohibiting the behavior described in subdivision (a) against the same party, shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for two, three, or four years.
http://victimsofcrime.org/our-progra...ate/california
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  #4  
Old 09-06-2017, 11:55 PM
Country_Jim Country_Jim is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron-Solo View Post
She needs to contact her local police and file a report for stalking, and also get a restraining order against him. That will usually be enough, but she needs to remain vigilant.
I agree.
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  #5  
Old 09-07-2017, 12:24 AM
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As others have said, police report, restraining order.
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  #6  
Old 09-07-2017, 12:47 AM
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As already mentioned, tell her to report it, and file a restraining order.

Not yet mentioned;
Need pics of friend to determine stalking potential.

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  #7  
Old 09-07-2017, 8:13 AM
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Report to local LE for either PC653m and/or PC646.9. Remember for 646.9, she must be able to articulate a credible threat to her safety not simple annoyance/unwanted contact.

Seek a temporary restraining order.

If her apartment complex has security, notify them. Same goes for work (security and reception).
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Old 09-07-2017, 8:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mixicus View Post
If her apartment complex has security, notify them. Same goes for work (security and reception).
Very good point!
The murder/suicide at Northpark Elem. School in San Bernardino happened with a couple getting a divorce and she had not notified anyone at school that they were separated.
Reception just let him in to see his wife.
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  #9  
Old 09-07-2017, 12:28 PM
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I'm not an expert.......but that said...I accompanied my dead friends mother (long story) who is a 4' 11" 85 year old woman to court about 2 years ago to file a restraining order against a grandson who she had kicked out of her house a few months prior. He had made some aggressive statements to her...and was showing up walking in and refusing to leave when asked...eating out of the fridge etc.

We stood before the judge and he asked if he'd ever physically abused her. She said no. He asked if he'd ever threatened to hurt her. She said no, but he wasn't welcome and wouldn't leave when asked and would walk in when told not to and that she was scared he could hurt her.

The judge without hesitation refused to issue the order.

My point is.....good luck getting a restraining order.
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  #10  
Old 09-24-2017, 2:43 PM
Shadow_Jay Shadow_Jay is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mixicus View Post
Report to local LE for either PC653m and/or PC646.9. Remember for 646.9, she must be able to articulate a credible threat to her safety not simple annoyance/unwanted contact.
This. Even if a criminal compliant isn't filed. Just having documentation where your friend contacted the police to report this incident would help in justifying a restraining order. Have your friend keep a log of each incident where Joe Doe has contacted your friend. The process for obtaining a restraining order is lengthy and when it comes time to go to the hearing she needs to have all her ducks in a row. Best of luck.
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  #11  
Old 09-25-2017, 2:35 PM
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After doing all of the above, she should stop hooking up with strangers on tinder.
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  #12  
Old 09-25-2017, 2:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolguy101 View Post
After doing all of the above, she should stop hooking up with strangers on tinder.
THIS.

She obviously "hooked up" with the guy if he knows where she lives. Even if there was no "hook up," extremely careless and dangerous to invite random strangers from the internet to your house especially as a young, single woman.
Police report and restraining order and no more random internet sex romps with creepy strangers.
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  #13  
Old 09-25-2017, 3:41 PM
CinnamonBear723 CinnamonBear723 is offline
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+1 for report it to the police and stop with the strangers from online.
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  #14  
Old 09-25-2017, 3:43 PM
koiloco koiloco is offline
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R.O. is great but useless until it's served...Keep that in mind before investing your time and effort trying to get one.

Go with a stalking report first.
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  #15  
Old 09-26-2017, 1:23 AM
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Doeant sound like enough PC for 646.9, maybe 653m at best. You can call police, tell them what happened and ask for an event number. Then file a RO against the person and hope the judge grants it.
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  #16  
Old 09-26-2017, 3:38 PM
Coolguy101 Coolguy101 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterb View Post
THIS.

She obviously "hooked up" with the guy if he knows where she lives. Even if there was no "hook up," extremely careless and dangerous to invite random strangers from the internet to your house especially as a young, single woman.
Police report and restraining order and no more random internet sex romps with creepy strangers.
Oh, she hooked up all right. It was in the OP's original post "My friend, living alone, hooked up with a guy off an online dating app at her place."

So she hooked up, regretted it, and now can't get rid of the guy. Obviously she doesn't make good decisions.
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  #17  
Old 09-26-2017, 4:05 PM
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Believe it or not that creep is not breaking any laws.

Also, without putting too much shame on your friend... She needs to grow up.

I've learned the hard way that there is three sides to every story. His, hers and the truth.
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Old 09-26-2017, 4:08 PM
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I'll say that the TRO is easy to get. Getting a permanent RO is the hard part. There has to be some legit issues that have happened (most judges want recent problems and there usually has to he some credible threat to safety. I'm not saying that your friend doesn't have that; from what I read there doesn't appear to be anything enough to issue a RO. It doesn't mean that she shouldn't give it a shot though because a judge could very well rule in her favor. It's going to be a lot of paperwork though. ROs are not easy to get.
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  #19  
Old 09-26-2017, 4:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mixicus View Post
Report to local LE for either PC653m and/or PC646.9. Remember for 646.9, she must be able to articulate a credible threat to her safety not simple annoyance/unwanted contact.

Seek a temporary restraining order.

If her apartment complex has security, notify them. Same goes for work (security and reception).
^^^^THIS^^^^

There's no articulation of a 646.9 violation in the OP's posting.
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  #20  
Old 09-26-2017, 10:19 PM
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Stop taking strangers to your house.
Dont go to their house either.
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  #21  
Old 09-26-2017, 10:31 PM
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"she lives in a nice part of San Jose"...that makes her whole story suspicious...

Seriously, follow Ron-Solos advice.
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