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Help me convince my wife to go shooting with me-Update
Hello~
I just recently got into shooting and I'm trying to get my wife into shooting as well. Problem is, she is very paranoid about getting shot by other shooter. I told her ASR, where I'm planning to take her, is probably safest place to shoot but it didn't do much good. So I tried convincing her that we can head out to BLM land and find a spot for just two of us, but I heard even BLM land is pretty packed on weekends too... So... can anyone pitch me a line that might work? BTW I already tried "you're the beneficiary of my life insurance, so fingers crossed~" and it backfired BIG time... Edit: So she finally did it Turns out she's a better shooter than I am. 2" shot group at 50 yard, with m193 surplus ammo and gritty stock trigger. about 4.5" at 100. I don't know how well others shot at first but it was a helluva lot better than my first Thank you everyone for your help~ Last edited by ywhuh86; 03-16-2014 at 1:54 PM.. Reason: Update |
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Just don't push too hard.
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Host of the FAST OC podcast. |
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ASR on a weekday, definitely not a weekend.
Go with a group, not just you two. Bring other girls (not being sexist or anything, but that seems to take the edge off to dispel the misconception that only guys are into shooting). Tell her to invite any friend she wants, etc... Heck, go to a calguns event. I would definitely not recommend BLM for first time shooting.
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The materials and information contained above in this post are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is created by any interaction with the author of such materials and information.
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My wife was the same way for a while. I kept encouraging her, NOT PUSHING that she should spend time with me. Now she goes with me every other time or so claiming that she does it "Only as an excuse to spend time with me". She'll come around as you spend more time out at BLM or the shooting range, if nothing else, out of pure curiosity.
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I will make the counter argument. From experience. My wife HATES guns. Completely irrationally so. We've been married 20 years. She won't even LOOK at any of my guns. So.... I have my interests, she has hers. I have a great time shooting with my "gun friends" and she does whatever she enjoys as well. If you try to "drag" her shooting, it will only serve to ruin your enjoyment. It is unlikely she will ever "love" shooting, and therefore will never share your enthusiasm for it. Why ruin your fun by trying to drag her into something she doesn't enjoy? If your marriage/relationship is otherwise healthy and strong, your enjoying different sports should not be a problem.
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It's like golf. If you really like golf, and your wife doesn't, taking her to the course with you is going to end up being a bad experience for all (not to mention if you are trying to teach her). Get her to go to a training class of her own (with you is good, with one/more of her girlfriends is better), and when/if she does go with you to the range, get separate lanes, don't try to coach her, just make sure that safety rules are followed. If it works out, she'll probably end up out shooting you.
If not, you get some me time, and time with other friends. Cherish both.
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Sorry, not sorry. 🎺 Dear autocorrect, I'm really getting tired of your shirt! |
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I don't blame her, guns are something worth being afraid of. Just like cars are something worth being afraid of. You can help her by acknowledging her fear and explaining that you see her caution as entirely legitimate.
After her eyes have gotten big and she says "Who are you and what have you done with my husband..." THEN you can explain that yes, guns and cars are both potentially lethal and so we have rules for their operation and we make sure they are handled by people who are qualified and/or supervised. You start by explaining the four basic rules of gun safety. You should know these by heart and be able to recite them in your sleep. Moreso, you should internalize them until you observe them 100% of the time you are in the presence of a gun, unconsciously, without even having to think about it. You explain these rules to her, and instruct her in how they are practiced... many people at first think "down range" means anything in the general direction of the berm. It is not. It is the point 90 degrees from the line on which all the other shooters are standing. Not ten degrees off, not 45 degrees off... downrange means straight downrange. "Pointing a gun" means the direction the muzzle is pointing - not just when it is in your hand. "Always loaded" means if the slide is closed you assume the chamber is loaded, and if there is a chamber loaded indicator you pretend it isn't there or that it isn't working, because mechanical devices do fail sometimes. When she sees you practicing good gun safety every time you have a gun at hand, she will begin to have confidence in the fact that other people can handle guns safely too. DO NOT take her to an unsupervised range. I have never been so scared in my life as having a bunch of red-necks with undisciplined and inexperienced kids unloading behind us at a public unsupervised shooting area. When you hear screams from behind you "muzzle! MUZZLE! g*#% d%#@* IT BOBBY!" you quickly lose your concentration or your desire to remain in the vicinity. Getting shot is a legitimate concern when you don't know who's next to you with a gun, or what their experience is, or what their intentions are, and they are unsupervised. GO TO A WELL-MANAGED PUBLIC RANGE. A RSO who is a complete, OCD anal-retentive control-freak NAZI is your best friend on the range. Tell her what to expect. If the RSO sees her do something wrong, he will yell at her like Sarge yells at Gomer Pyle. And she will nod and say "Yes, sir, you're right sir, I'm so sorry and it won't happen again..." If there is one person on earth you WANT to yell at you, it is the RSO because his watchful eye is what keeps everyone on that range from getting shot. And knowing that everyone on that line will be treated EXACTLY THAT WAY if they violate a safety rule, will help her understand how shooting can be a safe sport. And the suggestion that she have a basic gun safety class... priceless. I don't know why, but husbands/boyfriends teaching their women to shoot NEVER WORKS. It just doesn't. I teach friends the basics (and not so basics) and I have been complimented as being a good, patient and thorough teacher, and I have taught many women to shoot and shoot well. However, when my wife wants shooting coaching, I send her out for paid instruction. It's cheaper than lawyer bills and alimony. You'll do well to do likewise. Let her practice her gun safety skills at home using an airsoft replica or even a squirt gun. When she feels confident that she is handling safely 100% of the time, she'll feel better about going out to the live range. A couple other bonus tips - start with a .22lr. And get her some amplified electronic muffs, and have her wear ear-plugs under them. This will save her hearing but still allow her to hear instructions clearly. You'd be amazed to learn that while as guys we may have worked running sledge hammers, pounded nails and jack-hammers all our lives (or other forms of loud, abrupt noise) most women are not accustomed to dealing with noise like that and it is a shock to the autonomic nervous system if one is unaccustomed to it. Doubling up on protection takes some of the jolt out of it. Finally, go at a time when you know the range will be less crowded and busy. Noon on a Saturday - not good. 9:30 am on a Wednesday, much better. Hey, take a personal day and spend it with your wife. Keep it short... an introductory session should only last about an hour. She'll be exhausted by that point. Then take her for brunch to a nice place that she likes. Compliment her shooting and her progress. You might find you get more out of this than just introducing your wife to the shooting sports.
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The one thing worse than defeat is surrender. Last edited by bruss01; 01-29-2014 at 2:37 PM.. |
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Patches sold here. I am not affiliated with this page in any way. |
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My wife was never interested in shooting until a friend took me to IDPA and she saw video of it. She said; "That looks like fun".
Fast forward 4 years and she owns 4 guns and competes in the CDP single stack 45 division. She just took a night carbine course from a former Marine instructor. Talk about 180... Start with a class that you can both go to and have fun. She has to find out what (if anything) will spark her interest. Punching holes in paper wasn't interesting to my wife. Running and gunning, shooting steel, moving targets were much more fun for her. Have you considered trap shooting? It's a gateway drug for some people. My wife recently asked for her own shotgun and we do sporting clays at Oaktree Gun Club when we can get a day off together. It's beautiful in the back hills there. |
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Introduce the concept that she should at least try it one time, so that if she ever needed to know how to handle a firearm in the future, she would be able to safely do so. Rent a private range at Burro Canyon, I recommend tact-6, it's relatively secluded with benches and overhead protection. Do not go on the weekends, too crowded. Burro allows you to shoot alternative targets at private ranges, such as assorted fruit or swinging targets, call and ask about restrictions. In the days before you go, (if she has not had any firearm safety class) introduce her to the safety concepts until she is comfortable with them. Start with small calibers like 22lr... Only work your way up to larger calibers if she's ready to do so. Only stay as long as she seems to be interested or enjoying herself. Then on the way back, find a nice restaurant and buy her a delicious lobster lunch/and or/dinner. Noble |
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Well, I think the best thing she could do is attend a Women On Target event. Lucky for her that the CGSSA puts these NRA events on at Burro Canyon. The class is great because, it allows females to become familiar with firearms and learn to shoot without input from their significant others, fathers, sons, etc. There is one coming up in a week and a half. It is probably full but, she might be able to get on a waiting list. Oh yea, we provide NRA certified instructors, firearms, ammo, lunch, drinks and even a WOT swag bag.
If she can't make a WOT event, shoot me a PM and we might be able to work out a private lesson or two.
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NRA Certified Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun and Metallic Cartridge Reloading Instructor California DOJ Certified Fingerprint Roller Ventura County approved CCW Instructor Utah CCW Instructor Offering low cost multi state CCW, private basic shooting and reloading classes for calgunners. CCW SAFE MEMBERSHIPS HERE KM6WLV Last edited by CSACANNONEER; 01-29-2014 at 3:57 PM.. |
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Start her with a BB gun in your garage. If she likes any part of shooting, you'll soon get her out to the range. Then start her with 22's as others have mentioned. |
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Thank you everyone for your input~
I've never thought about taking her to a safety class, but I'll ask if she will be willing to attend one. No-go on BLM on weekend was a great tip as well I've never been there before. It could have ended up in a disaster. I have to confess that I had been putting a bit of pressure on her, mainly because she was the one who suggested we pick shooting to be our new hobby... We had fun discussing what type of guns to purchase, where to buy them from and etc, but I think we read an article somewhere about an accident that happened at a range... and starting searching for more incidents... Anyways... I guess I'll try couple more times. In worst case scenario, I'd just end up with an extra rifle. |
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I will throw this one out there, too. Nathan Rollins does a IDPA "clinic". You basically run through the courses with a coach helping you through each stage. His new wife, Kim Rollins is also there so it might be less intimidating for a woman. She is one of the Range Officers at ISI as well (and of course a shooter herself).
They are small classes and you get one on one time with the instructor. I've known Nathan for years, he's a good guy and he can slow it down for novice shooters. http://www.isishootists.com/tactical...nics-copy.html He limits the class size and at $80 for the day (probably 4-5 hours I am guessing) it's not a bad deal. It's a little different approach to taking a group class with say, 30 people all it once. |
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I mentioned it because I convinced one of my good friend's to go through a safety class with his wife, who was quite hesitant and nervous around firearms. It helped that my wife also talked with her about it. Now, she's the one who pressure him to go shooting.
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Has she ever shot a gun before? I don't blame her, I don't like shooting with people I don't know.
I have been going out to BLM land for years. 99% of the time, I never see a single person, where I go. Its an 80 mile drive but then most places are an hour away, then you have to pay for time on the range.
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It takes a lot of balls to play golf the way I do. Happiness is a warm gun. MLC, First 3 |
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BLM on a day off during the week.
Go early when nobody is there, expose her to shooting firearms for an hour or so then go have brunch.
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"Yeah, like... well, I just want to slap a hippie or two. Maybe even make them get jobs." |
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If you asked the same question on the women's forum, you'll get some great suggestions from women shooters and many more supporters of the WOT program.
__________________
NRA Certified Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun and Metallic Cartridge Reloading Instructor California DOJ Certified Fingerprint Roller Ventura County approved CCW Instructor Utah CCW Instructor Offering low cost multi state CCW, private basic shooting and reloading classes for calgunners. CCW SAFE MEMBERSHIPS HERE KM6WLV |
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I heard a quote the other day, "if a man goes to the range, he takes himself, if a woman goes to the range, she takes the whole family". It's not always true, but it does make sense.
Just ease into the idea, try to get her out to a WOT event, or drag her kicking and screaming to a monthly meet where there's usually several women there. Let her know that you're going to want her to try it a few times over the years and if she never wants to do it that's ok, but you're never going to tell her to stay home while you go have fun lol. A buddy of mine collects rifles and loves firearms. His wife knows how to use them, can shoot them "ok", but hates them, wants nothing to do with guns, and their both ok with that. It happens. My wife loves to read books, I can't stand it as it puts me to sleep, however I read my "books" or articles online or what have you. Her dad also tries to get me to read books, just not my thing and that's ok with everybody. It seems the majority say to take a class, I concur, ask her to give it 110%, whether she has fun or hates it, see it through. If she hates it you'll never ask her again (make sure that when you lie about that one you don't smile), and if she likes it them awesome, either way you won't bug her about going all the time but that she's welcome to go & spend the time with you. Most importantly, don't try to force her into it. Trust me, bad idea, lol it starts fights. Sent from my iPhone.
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My AR Build Info: http://www.calguns.net/calgunforum/s...postcount=1224 "The sole basis of education is to turn mirrors into windows" - Sydney J. Harris "Life is a disease: s€xually transmitted, and invariably fatal." -Neil Gaiman SWAG - "Scientific Wild *** Guess" |
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I'd just keep shooting and make sure she knows how much you enjoy it. Eventually she'll get curious and get more interested but pushing her to go will most likely not help. |
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Firearm safety course-live fire, have her chk out the cgr's Ladies Forum, chk NRA website...or nuclear option..tell her that you will take her sister or a girl friend...however if exercised, expect 6 more months of nuclear winter.
gb
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Hey look what fell into my lap this morning; Just got this email, great idea. Look around for more things like this.
http://touch.groupon.com/deals/gunsh...earms-training http://www.gunshotsfirearmstraining.com Sent from my iPhone.
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My AR Build Info: http://www.calguns.net/calgunforum/s...postcount=1224 "The sole basis of education is to turn mirrors into windows" - Sydney J. Harris "Life is a disease: s€xually transmitted, and invariably fatal." -Neil Gaiman SWAG - "Scientific Wild *** Guess" |
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Well - first thing I'd suggest is don't go to ASR on the weekends with her.
I've been shooting now for roughly 50 years - and FWIW - I'm afraid to get shot at ASR on the weekends. Way, way too many idiots there. Second thing I'd suggest is go get one of those groupons or livingsocial deals for Tripple B's - the two of you can go for an hour, with a private instructor and shoot sporting clays - you, her and an instructor. Last thing is - just tell her its important for her to experience something that you really enjoy doing - even if its just once, just to try it - however - if there is something that she likes doing and wants you to participate in you aren't going to be able to turn her down because you aren't interested. It might also help to take her shooting with another couple, one where the other woman is comfortable shooting and comfortable teaching. |
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+1 Bill!
Sent from my iPhone.
__________________
My AR Build Info: http://www.calguns.net/calgunforum/s...postcount=1224 "The sole basis of education is to turn mirrors into windows" - Sydney J. Harris "Life is a disease: s€xually transmitted, and invariably fatal." -Neil Gaiman SWAG - "Scientific Wild *** Guess" |
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Exactly.... I kinda welcome the fact that this hobby gives me some time to myself... but I do think its pretty awesome when you see a cute girl out shooting!! At those times makes me want to bring my wife out.. but then I remember how annoying that would get after the "cuteness" factor wore off..
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#34
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OP!
Any luck? Sent from my iPhone.
__________________
My AR Build Info: http://www.calguns.net/calgunforum/s...postcount=1224 "The sole basis of education is to turn mirrors into windows" - Sydney J. Harris "Life is a disease: s€xually transmitted, and invariably fatal." -Neil Gaiman SWAG - "Scientific Wild *** Guess" |
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Haha!! Good I'm glad! Make sure she really enjoys it and get her to go to a couple other classes and she'll be hooked! My wife is a closet gun enthusiast but for a good reason lol congrats!
Sent from my iPhone.
__________________
My AR Build Info: http://www.calguns.net/calgunforum/s...postcount=1224 "The sole basis of education is to turn mirrors into windows" - Sydney J. Harris "Life is a disease: s€xually transmitted, and invariably fatal." -Neil Gaiman SWAG - "Scientific Wild *** Guess" |
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It might take a little patience to get her to enjoy it. I've been married almost 17 years. Took her shooting for the first time when we were engaged. She never wanted to go again until last July. I asked her what she wanted to do for our anniversary and she said take me out somewhere we can shoot your guns and camp over night. After that trip, we have been shooting together(or with friends) almost every month since. Now she is looking for her first handgun purchase. Probably not the answer you are looking for but some women take awhile to warm up to it. Good Luck!
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Been married 15 years at the end of this month. I have a CCW, 4 years USMC..And have several weapons (in safes) all around the house..3 kids..I take my kids to the range whenever they want to go with me..Have taught them about firearms safety since they were little ones..I take my son hunting with me..She never gives me absolutely no issues..But..She has absolutely NO inclination to learn or to go shooting with me..at all..She has an open invitation whenever she wants, she can go with me..she knows that..But I stopped asking..And it's no big deal..My stuff doesn't have to be hers..
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#39
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We just had a WOT class today at Burro. The next two will be rifle classes. See if you can get her to one. There are limited spots and the classes fill up fast. Also, just a note. There are currently 34 WOT courses scheduled in California for the remained of 2014. There are 68 courses scheduled in the other 48 states combined. There are lots of new women shooters in this state so, she should fit right in.
__________________
NRA Certified Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun and Metallic Cartridge Reloading Instructor California DOJ Certified Fingerprint Roller Ventura County approved CCW Instructor Utah CCW Instructor Offering low cost multi state CCW, private basic shooting and reloading classes for calgunners. CCW SAFE MEMBERSHIPS HERE KM6WLV |
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