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Calguns LEOs LEOs; chat, kibitz and relax. Non-LEOs; have a questions for a cop? Ask it here, in a CIVIL manner.

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  #41  
Old 02-19-2014, 8:19 PM
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Excrement covered "marital aids" in his satchel. He had just come from West Hollywood.
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  #42  
Old 02-20-2014, 12:57 AM
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$30,000 in $100 bills. It was a petty theft at a local business. The suspect had liver cancer and only a few months to live. He cashed in his life savings and decided he was going to give it away to random customers (he did) and steal random items for fun. He literally told me if I arrested him he would bail before I left the jail. lol. I gave him a ticket and sent him on his way.
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  #43  
Old 02-20-2014, 3:19 PM
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Two brake pads and a small buddha figurine tied together with shoe string and hung around the suspects waist next to his skin. The brake pads were covered in human feces.
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  #44  
Old 02-20-2014, 7:56 PM
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Stripped searched a guy in a holding tank...he had a tattoo of a spark plug on his penis, made me cringe!!
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  #45  
Old 02-20-2014, 9:38 PM
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'......

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  #46  
Old 02-20-2014, 10:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Petro6golf View Post
$30,000 in $100 bills. It was a petty theft at a local business. The suspect had liver cancer and only a few months to live. He cashed in his life savings and decided he was going to give it away to random customers (he did) and steal random items for fun. He literally told me if I arrested him he would bail before I left the jail. lol. I gave him a ticket and sent him on his way.
lol how is $30,000 petty theft? That seems like $29,500 past petty theft into grand theft(assuming this was some time ago before grand theft was bumped up to $950).

Edit: AHH I think you meant he had $30,000 on him unrelated to stealing small items from the local business.

Last edited by ECG_88; 02-20-2014 at 10:49 PM..
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  #47  
Old 02-20-2014, 10:51 PM
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An Easter egg shaped vibrator. Noticed a string coming out from his boxers and asked him what it was.
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  #48  
Old 02-21-2014, 3:43 AM
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Without knowing what you make, none of you are paid enough. I can tell from here.

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  #49  
Old 02-21-2014, 6:13 AM
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lol how is $30,000 petty theft? That seems like $29,500 past petty theft into grand theft(assuming this was some time ago before grand theft was bumped up to $950).

Edit: AHH I think you meant he had $30,000 on him unrelated to stealing small items from the local business.
He had $30,000 on him and stole $8 in tiedown straps (he rode a bike to the store) and $3 in muscle milk. Never found out why he wanted the tie downs. He tried to give my partner $2000. We told him to contact the dept to make a donation.
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  #50  
Old 02-21-2014, 9:23 AM
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Pink vibrator INSIDE a southsider gangster. He was crying "please don't book it, the homies will kill me".

"Sorry sir department policy says I have to book it. Good luck"
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  #51  
Old 02-21-2014, 10:45 AM
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10" flathead craftsmen screwdriver ( flathead first), 3 D cell maglight body (no bulb head) filled full of meth bindles and dope ballons all found during strip searches of two suspects doing the penguin walk

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  #52  
Old 02-21-2014, 1:33 PM
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I must have been lucky, because I never found anything weird like the rest of you. I am not embarrassed to say I am glad I didn't either.

Yes, while working the jail as a sgt., we had one EME hit man who put a shank up his butt it seemed like once a week and it would be discovered. I never actually saw it, but did see the X-ray of it. The deputies were the lucky ones who had him sit on a bucket and retrieve it. I was just there to ensure there wasn't a problem, so I didn't have to be right in the room as he defecated it out (thankfully).

This guy was kept in High Power (he was a SHU inmate from up north), yet he still managed to get hold of stuff.
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  #53  
Old 02-21-2014, 1:44 PM
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I was shown footage of 2 ladies from 2 separate incidents with pistols up their hoo ha's. One loaded and the other not.

The term, "Got anything in your purse?" has never been the same since...
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  #54  
Old 02-21-2014, 7:04 PM
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I arrested this chick who had a vial of ashes hanging around her neck on a necklace. At first, I thought it was dope, so I took it off her, and tapped out a bit on my posse box to figure out what it was. She sees me tapping out the contents, and tells me that the ashes were from her dad when he was cremated. Oops!
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  #55  
Old 02-22-2014, 10:03 PM
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Not an arrest but I filled a pillow case with rubber c*cks while cleaning out a homeless camp.

1 had a sawz-all attachment.

There was also a homemade sex doll made out of the "Y" of a tree cut & inverted into a torso with 2 legs, wrapped in towels, covered in liquid latex and had a rubber c*ck mounted on it.
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  #56  
Old 02-23-2014, 2:47 AM
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A Cock ring on a male, anal beads in the back seat of a car on a vehicle search as a condition of parole, a picture/Polaroid of the subject himself with another male's penis in his mouth...yup...
Scarred my eyes for days.
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  #57  
Old 02-23-2014, 8:31 AM
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I have two that come to mind,
While processing the work crew back into the facility, as I walked behind the inmates standing in line I heard a faint alarm, my investigative techniques lead me to 3 inmates standing side by side, not finding a watch during my search, I stood behing them and could almost zero in on the alarm. Once separated from the other and with a medical transpost pending he produced a G-shock wrist watch, and yes the alarm was still active.

Second one, and I can still remember his name today, when you see plastic wrap rolled up in a ball dont pick it up with your ungloved hands, if subject begins to laugh at you dont ask where it came from. long story short, dope from visiting room via rear trunk, as said above could not find enough hand sanitizer, soap, you name it i tried to wash my hands with it.
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  #58  
Old 02-23-2014, 8:47 AM
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Best thread on Calguns!
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  #59  
Old 02-23-2014, 9:08 AM
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Best thread on Calguns!
this must become a sticky thread.
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  #60  
Old 02-23-2014, 10:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by retired View Post

Yes, while working the jail as a sgt., we had one EME hit man who put a shank up his butt it seemed like once a week and it would be discovered. I never actually saw it, but did see the X-ray of it. The deputies were the lucky ones who had him sit on a bucket and retrieve it. I was just there to ensure there wasn't a problem, so I didn't have to be right in the room as he defecated it out (thankfully).

.

Come on Bill ...........
That's just a Drop In The Bucket !!!!!
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  #61  
Old 02-23-2014, 10:49 AM
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Wow.

After reading this thread I'm not feeling so weird about watching amateur asian midget fisting porn last night.
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  #62  
Old 02-23-2014, 12:37 PM
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Wow.

After reading this thread I'm not feeling so weird about watching amateur asian midget fisting porn last night.
Got a link?
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  #63  
Old 02-23-2014, 12:40 PM
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Wow.

After reading this thread I'm not feeling so weird about watching amateur asian midget fisting porn last night.
The one where they where dressed up as Santa and reindeer?
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  #64  
Old 02-23-2014, 12:41 PM
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this must become a sticky thread.
Too much lube in this thread for it to be sticky.
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  #65  
Old 02-24-2014, 9:46 AM
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Photos of this non sense would be better.. sick I know... but to be put in these situations LEOs have to have a crazy sense of humor..
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  #66  
Old 02-24-2014, 12:36 PM
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Photos of this non sense would be better.. sick I know... but to be put in these situations LEOs have to have a crazy sense of humor..
Uhhh, no thanks!
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  #67  
Old 02-25-2014, 4:02 PM
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You sometimes find some weird stuff on arrestees when booking them into jail; what's the most bizzare thing YOU have found?

I'll go first: foreign guy (Hispanic-ish, not sure beyond that) arrested for DUI. Nothing unusual about the arrest or the ride to CJ, but when I got him into booking and started bagging his stuff, he had a dried rodent carcass wrapped in an ornate handkerchief sized cloth. The carcass looked like it had been a rat, and it had small strips of paper wrapped around each foot with extremely small writing in a foreign type of characters. The carcass didn't stink like it should have, almost like it had been taxidermied(?). Foreign deuce guy spoke a foreign deuce language, so we couldn't get anything useful from him, other than that thing was very important to him.

I have to say, I got a kick out of writing "dried rodent carcass" on the property sheet.

Tossed a guys residence room for drugs,etc. looking everywhere. Underneath his bed was a flock of what looked to be those "napkin ghosts" we used to make as kids, using a marshmallow as the head, a kleenex and raisins for eyes. Turned out the guy was a prolific masturbator who soiled the kleenexes and shoved them under his bed, where they stiffened up. There were DOZENS of them. And yes, we gave them a cursory look for contraband.

Tossed another room where guy had a diary with entries where he talked about how good sex with his cousin was. It's all relative, i told him.
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  #68  
Old 02-27-2014, 11:53 AM
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I swear it's true...
Working booking one graveyard shift many, many, many...OK...lifetime age.
Rookie comes in with a local street gal and wants to book her for poss. of narcotic para. Seems she had this white plastic syringe looking thing with a round hole at the opposite end of the plunger.... Do I have you yet??
It was found on a consensual search along with, the Dep says, was "some shaving cream" in a bag. He figures she using it to inject something but finds no drugs. ....Are you there yet??? The gal is in tears and trying desperately to tell the Dep it's a foam spermicide. He'll have nothing to do with that BS..
Turns out he never read what was no the "shaving cream" can.....
She was summarily 849'd out the door she just came in...
Ya can't make this stuff up....oh yea...he's still a bachelor.
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  #69  
Old 02-27-2014, 12:05 PM
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Not a LEO but during a ride along, the officer assisted in a DUI field sobriety test. He passed the limit and was cuffed so the officer inventoried the items in the vehicle before releasing it to the tow truck guy. We found a full raw fish that was underneath his seat, it was probably there for a few days. Officer said it was one of the weirdest things that he saw during an inventory.
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  #70  
Old 02-27-2014, 10:15 PM
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Local tough guy wearing women's underwear and bra....another with drugs in his butt....Thats just what I found.

LEO friend was involved in a shooting and after the smoke cleared (suspect was killed) there was a vibrator in the suspect's butt. Can't remember if it was on or not.

Off topic......Some nurses told a story where a guy and gal in the heat of the moment decided to put the lubed barrel of a .22lr handgun in and out of his butt. She got excited, pulled the trigger and sent a round out his abdominal area.
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  #71  
Old 03-01-2014, 6:24 PM
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I'm dying here. That's some funny sheet.

I saw an episode of one of the reality cop shows (Alaska st. Trooper, wardens, border patrol) I don't remember which one, but they arrested a guy who had his pockets full of dil*oes, and vibrators. Seemed very matter of fact about it, not at all embarrassed or anything. Cops were trying not to laugh out loud, and failing miserably at it.
That was wild Justice CA wardens.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pd1zt0VD6yA
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  #72  
Old 03-02-2014, 8:33 AM
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Probation compliance search on a minor's residence to find the entire house covered in trash. By this I don't mean that the place was just filthy. I mean you couldn't see the floor, even more than that, the leftover fast food bags/boxes were piled 18inches thick all around the residence with narrow trails winding through the residence. The front room a staircase leading from the front door down to the main floor. On the stoop I found a full gallon of milk, still in a plastic bag, with an expiration date 6 months prior to the search.

This is all fairly disgusting, but the kicker was the kid's room. The minor was just as prolific a hoarder as his family. Going to far as to cut a hole in his box spring and stuff his discarded food bins and leftovers inside of it. The kid was literally sleeping on top of pounds of garbage and didn't see anything wrong with it.

We did a residence verification a few weeks ago for a different kid who was hoarding his urine in open containers in his closet, almost like some kind of shrine. It was pretty sick.
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  #73  
Old 03-02-2014, 4:08 PM
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[IMG][/IMG]Martionelli's Apple juice bottle snugly secured in his prison purse...Doctor removed....

Last edited by Boblaw; 03-11-2014 at 10:10 AM..
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  #74  
Old 03-04-2014, 1:11 PM
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Parollee had a laptop on him, Searched it and saw photos of him balls deep in a tan Labrador... just when I though I had seen it all, I see him going down on the dog. Wierd thing is, someone was taking those photos of him...

Probably won't look at labs the same again.
OMG.! I think I hooked the same guy in P.S. but the pics were a Pittbull. I've seen things in that desert that I've never seen elsewhere.
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  #75  
Old 03-04-2014, 1:46 PM
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Martionelli's Apple juice bottle snugly secured in his prison purse...Doctor removed....
Should have kicked him in the azz and smashed it while he was still, uh, "wearing" it
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  #76  
Old 03-04-2014, 3:04 PM
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Stopped a car that was weaving all over for suspicion of DUI. Driver was acting evasive and annoyed. Skank right front passenger would not make eye contact. Pulled the driver out to do FSTs, but did a frisk first. In doing the frisk I found a hard object in the front waist band that wasn't a weapon. The skank, the weaving car and his annoyance suddenly all clicked for me.

It wasn't DUI. You simply can't use enough hand sanitizer.

Stop another driver who was weaving. Coming home from a bar, driver was DUI. He had a very leggy prostitute with a whole lotta skin showing. After the FSTs and arrest, I asked the prostitute to exit the vehicle so I could arrange a ride for her. When she opened the door and swung her legs out I noticed lumps where there shouldn't be lumps. Till the day I die, I will never forget the drunks expression when I told him the girl he was taking home was actually a guy.
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  #77  
Old 03-04-2014, 3:48 PM
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During a cell search a Co-worker found a 24" long perfectly formed and anatomically correct marital aid made out of toilet paper and toothpaste one femail inmate had made as a gift to her cellmate/girlfriend. Very bad things
Bbr

Last edited by BBR; 03-04-2014 at 6:31 PM..
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  #78  
Old 03-04-2014, 3:58 PM
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I arrested this fat gal once and she had a few joints stuffed in her belly button, she pulled them out and they were straight as can be..
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  #79  
Old 03-04-2014, 4:29 PM
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I'm a CO in the county jail, we had a murder suspect come in when I was working intake. When the cops hooked him they found the victims (his moms) eyes in his pocket.
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Old 03-04-2014, 5:24 PM
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The one where they where dressed up as Santa and reindeer?
lol. Sadly I know exactly which one you are referring to. Elbow deep.
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