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Ladies Forum A place for our female Calgunners to discuss, share and interact without the 'excess attention' sometimes found in online forums.

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  #121  
Old 07-08-2013, 1:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Mafia Princess View Post
I NEVER understood this terminology. It makes her sound like a possession or inanimate object. 'The gun' OK. 'The car' OK...but not the 'The wife'. Very degrading.
What would AJ, Stanley, and Faith think?


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  #122  
Old 07-08-2013, 3:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Big Jake View Post
What would AJ, Stanley, and Faith think?


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Why, they would agree with me of course. They know what's good for them -they catch on a little quicker than some.
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  #123  
Old 07-08-2013, 9:13 AM
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Why, they would agree with me of course. They know what's good for them -they catch on a little quicker than some.
I'll need to ask them!


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  #124  
Old 07-08-2013, 9:15 AM
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Truly should be 'my wife'!!
She the wife of my life, so it is sort of possessive but not a possession
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  #125  
Old 07-08-2013, 9:30 AM
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I'll need to ask them!


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Yeah, you go right ahead Big Jake. Maybe you'll learn a thing or two. :P
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  #126  
Old 07-08-2013, 10:35 AM
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Who in hell are AJ Stanley and Faith?
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Last edited by BonnieB; 07-08-2013 at 10:48 AM..
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  #127  
Old 07-08-2013, 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted by BonnieB View Post
Who in hell are AJ Stanley and Faith?

I think that two members are having personal/private conversations in the public threads?

I asked earlier of they were related or something and my post was deleted.

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  #128  
Old 07-08-2013, 10:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drdarrin@sbcglobal.net View Post
I refer to my bride of 39 years as, well, my bride.

So, I can't answer your question.
My wife and I just celebrated our 39th on 21 June.
OP, It denotes ownership not partnership. My wife, my other half, my best friend and I are partners through this journey together. It is a shared journey of ups and downs, good and bad, success and failure. We get through this as partners.
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  #129  
Old 07-08-2013, 11:04 AM
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My wife and I just celebrated our 39th on 21 June.
OP, It denotes ownership not partnership. My wife, my other half, my best friend and I are partners through this journey together. It is a shared journey of ups and downs, good and bad, success and failure. We get through this as partners.
Bravo!!
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  #130  
Old 07-08-2013, 11:47 AM
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I always call mine "The Boss"
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  #131  
Old 07-08-2013, 12:01 PM
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I always call mine "The Boss"
Even better!!
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  #132  
Old 07-13-2013, 9:47 PM
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Oh, it's still alive and kicking.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BonnieB
BonnieB
I bet she doesn't. And you probably don't want to know what she calls you, when you aren't listening...
She does, I'll explain below and I'm a man, I'm never listening. As long as I'm not refered to as "The Ex" I'm cool.


gotta break this one up a bit for clarity

Quote:
Originally Posted by movie zombie
well, given BonnieB started this thread in the LADIES FORUM i'm betting she was really looking for the opinions of other female calgunners...
Possibly, but subforum titles aside she wasn't gender specific in the question. And to get a good answer about this it's good to pull from the ones guilty of using the terminology. "The wife" has passed my lips many times (no innudendo) tt's not intentionally derogatory, or objectifying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by movie zombie
most women do not like the "c" words, especially when it is directed at them. if his wife is fine with it, she is fine with it. that's between them. personally, i'm hoping he only does this in the throes of passionate night dancing between the sheets.
That's why I started using the term. Because she didn't like when she was called it at work on a daily basis. Through intentional desensitization, it became a cute pet name usually prefixed with "My cuddly little...", " when she's down on her self (or vice versa) "Shut yer *c-word* mouth" which, again, isn't an insult but rather a buzzword we've established as a bit of a "snap out of it/cheer up/derail that train of thought" type of thing.

A bit of a background on 'The Wife'
She's a LEO who has survived crap childhood, a previous abusive relationship, and is a Ginger. Survivor of, Endometriosis, Cancer, Whipple and Chiari operations and two size 0 friends in High School.
She also just turned 30.

If words actually had power, there isn't a word in any language that can do anything to her that life already hasn't. So we've stripped words of rank and pay. It removed any emotion attached to the word when used as an insult which is arguably a benefit to any LEO.

"night dancing" I'm stealing that one.

In the throes of passion, I usually can't formulate words. That'd be akin to Mozart trying to compose a symphony while racing the Paris-Dakar Rally.
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  #133  
Old 07-14-2013, 9:02 AM
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Words DO matter.

Margaret Thatcher said, and she was undoubtably right: Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch your words for they become actions. Watch your actions for they become... habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny! What we think, we become.

When the Women's Movement started in the 70's, and I was there, one of the first things we did was raise hell over how people referred to woman. Because words influence how people think. We refused to be chicks, birds, dollies, C's, girls, gals, pretty-little-thangs, pretty much anything but 'women'. An exception was women under 18, who could legitimately be called 'girls'. Once the culture changed enough to stop making a woman a second class citizen, unable to buy a house or a car by herself, things eased up. But the culture changed because we INSISTED on respect.

This was meant to be fairly light hearted discussion. But you're pushing your luck, Boulant. Go home, your mommy is calling you....
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WHAT I HAVE LEARNED SO FAR, MOSTLY THE HARD WAY
Do only safe sex. Never have sex with someone crazier than you are.
Don't marry or move in together before you're both at least 25.
Don't have children until you're married five years or at least age 30.
Put 10% of your salary into savings every month no matter how broke you are.
Don't ever screw around with the IRS.
Keep a handgun on your bedside table.
Don't smart-mouth judges, or cops who stop you on the road.

Last edited by BonnieB; 07-14-2013 at 9:14 AM..
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  #134  
Old 07-14-2013, 1:23 PM
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so Im guilty, I call my SO "the hubs" or "the Hubby"
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  #135  
Old 07-29-2013, 3:34 PM
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i call mine "the wallet" or " I forgot my purse"
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  #136  
Old 07-29-2013, 3:51 PM
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My wife and I always call each other different names. Husband, the husband, wife, the wife, the other person. etc.

Maybe it offends other people but between us we find it comedic sometimes as some people will ask us "You call him/her THAT????"

I guess it's the sarcasm and goofiness in me's that my wife has finally understood and now get's it an goes along with it.
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  #137  
Old 07-29-2013, 4:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mafia Princess View Post
Even better!!
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  #138  
Old 07-29-2013, 5:50 PM
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Originally Posted by thehobbit View Post
"The wife" AKA "my better half" has no negative connotation. Because we males often feel that we have to put on a "macho" image and one of the rules of being a male is we cannot portray ourselves as nurturing. Males use this term "the wife" instead of "the love of my life," "my reason for living," and or "the apple of my eye" because some may feel that its not very masculine to speak that way it from of his friends about his wife. Speaking using non-masculine terms may and often results in ridicule from his friends.

*I know i am going to be ridiculed for saying this but i am secure in my masculinity.


If I hear somebody with that "my reason for living" sort of thing, I immediately think that I am dealing with somebody who has a dependent personality issue and has problems developing their own identity independent of somebody else.
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  #139  
Old 07-29-2013, 6:11 PM
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Originally Posted by BonnieB View Post
Bugs, you changed your Avatar! I didn't recognize you!


LOL madly. My mother referred to my father as "Daddy", even to his face. I remember blowing up at about 9 years old, saying " He's MY daddy, Mum, not yours!"

And I just remembered my mother flinching when I referred to my boyfriend-du-jour as "my lover". And the 'du-jour' thing was much more belittling than the lover part....

I was engaged once to a man who was a career Army man. And I addressed him as "Major", but only in bed....

Such a hot topic, how we address and refer to our loved ones.


My grandfather would almost always address my grandmother as "woman." Such as "woman phone," "woman door," "woman coffee," "woman the roast," etc. Some might regard that as somewhat improper.

Although he would often use a short version of her first name unless he was referring to her as "woman" or addressing her as "woman."
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  #140  
Old 07-29-2013, 6:30 PM
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I've been calling "The wife" Wifezilla for about 25 years, a good friend of mine refers the "The wife" as No-balls.
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  #141  
Old 07-29-2013, 6:56 PM
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Originally Posted by KABA556 View Post
My grandfather would almost always address my grandmother as "woman." Such as "woman phone," "woman door," "woman coffee," "woman the roast," etc. Some might regard that as somewhat improper.

Although he would often use a short version of her first name unless he was referring to her as "woman" or addressing her as "woman."
Your grandfather was f-ing hard.
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  #142  
Old 07-29-2013, 9:20 PM
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Your grandfather was f-ing hard.
He was in Korea for around two or three years serving with the Corps and he has never taken anything from anybody.

He's still prone to making nasty remarks about Koreans and he won't eat so much as a single grain of rice.
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  #143  
Old 07-30-2013, 7:58 AM
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When a couple use "nicknames" or "the wife" or " the husband" it is up to them to decide if it works for them or not. I wouldn't dream of interfering or asking why they call each other what they do. Classic MYOB

That being said, I would be upset if someone called their wife the "c" word in public. What you do in private is your own business.

Some people seem awful angry.
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  #144  
Old 07-30-2013, 8:49 AM
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My wife is and always will be "my better half".
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  #145  
Old 07-30-2013, 9:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by savannah View Post
When a couple use "nicknames" or "the wife" or " the husband" it is up to them to decide if it works for them or not. I wouldn't dream of interfering or asking why they call each other what they do. Classic MYOB
My sentiments exactly!!!!
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  #146  
Old 07-30-2013, 8:59 PM
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Contrariwise, I once had a boyfriend who addressed me as "Woman", in some very specific circumstances. As in "woman, GET in my bed". Weirdly enough, I found that entirely charming. Go figure...
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Do only safe sex. Never have sex with someone crazier than you are.
Don't marry or move in together before you're both at least 25.
Don't have children until you're married five years or at least age 30.
Put 10% of your salary into savings every month no matter how broke you are.
Don't ever screw around with the IRS.
Keep a handgun on your bedside table.
Don't smart-mouth judges, or cops who stop you on the road.
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  #147  
Old 07-30-2013, 9:22 PM
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ah, verbal foreplay takes many forms.....!
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  #148  
Old 07-30-2013, 9:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BonnieB View Post
Contrariwise, I once had a boyfriend who addressed me as "Woman", in some very specific circumstances. As in "woman, GET in my bed". Weirdly enough, I found that entirely charming. Go figure...


The context with my grandfather was more along these lines-


He'd be lying on the couch watching TV, my grandmother would be in the kitchen trying to tend to the stove, the dishes, and setting the table, the phone would ring, and he'd shout, "woman, phone!" or somebody would knock at the door and he'd shout, "woman, door!"

I suppose in his defense, he ruined his back working in heavy industry, but I don't think it would have been the death of him to answer the phone.
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  #149  
Old 07-30-2013, 11:50 PM
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when one speaks of "my" wife, it is usually in an authoritative context.
where as "the" wife is usually used in an authoritarian context.

"my wife would never allow that" is usually used when there is room for flexibility.
"the wife would never allow that" is usually used when there is no possibility of negotiation.

Last edited by autoduel; 07-30-2013 at 11:56 PM..
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  #150  
Old 07-31-2013, 6:55 AM
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My wife is "the wife". Not " a wife", those are common. Not "my wife", because I don't own her. She is the one, the only - wife.
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  #151  
Old 07-31-2013, 8:37 AM
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This thread is great. People who hear my wife and I talk to each other assume we have a totally jacked up relationship. We just have a twisted sense of humor.
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  #152  
Old 07-31-2013, 9:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shrubmaster View Post
This thread is great. People who hear my wife and I talk to each other assume we have a totally jacked up relationship. We just have a twisted sense of humor.
Same here on occasion
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  #153  
Old 07-31-2013, 3:23 PM
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Well, you have to be a little twisted when you stay together as long as my husband and I have been together. We have been married almost 40 years. I still adore him and I know he adores me.

Everyone is different with different ways of talking to each other. What IS important is if it works for you and you stay happy in your relationship and together. I am not sure why anyone would care a whole lot what my husband calls me unless it was a nasty name that was meant to hurt.
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  #154  
Old 07-31-2013, 8:44 PM
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Originally Posted by savannah View Post
Well, you have to be a little twisted when you stay together as long as my husband and I have

I am not sure why anyone would care a whole lot what my husband calls me unless
What's up with women saying 'my husband' gee whiz
(Joking of course)
Congrats on 40 years
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  #155  
Old 07-31-2013, 8:54 PM
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Oh yeh, that. Ummmm I mean " the husband"......no wait, I mean.....ummmm the nice guy I married????
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  #156  
Old 08-01-2013, 7:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Shrubmaster View Post
This thread is great. People who hear my wife and I talk to each other assume we have a totally jacked up relationship. We just have a twisted sense of humor.
I can relate to this. As a kid, I use to worry that my parents would divorce after hearing them argue/bicker at times. Their marriage lasted 50+ years till my dad passed away and taught me a lot about commitment.

When I catch myself "jesting" with "the" wife in front of the kids, I would ask my kids if they were worried about our marriage as I don't want them to worry as I did. They would just give me that "oh Dad" look so I think they are on to our routine and know that we adore one another.

I also often refer to the wife as "my bride". After almost 25 years of marriage, it still seems very appropriate to me.

Oh and on another topic, I did get the wife a pink Glock as an anniversary present several years ago. But that's another story...

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 4 Beta

Last edited by acegunnr; 08-01-2013 at 5:14 PM..
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  #157  
Old 08-01-2013, 7:21 AM
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ace, you are a romantic: "my bride" after almost 25 years of marriage?! that's great! and you're a good dad to make sure the kids "understand"..... can't wait for the pink glock story......
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  #158  
Old 08-01-2013, 8:34 AM
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Speaking of years
What's a good 25th husband to wife gift
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Old 08-01-2013, 8:39 AM
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depends on what she likes.....or perhaps there is a special place she's always wanted to travel to.....
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Old 08-01-2013, 8:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tripper View Post
Speaking of years
What's a good 25th husband to wife gift
I'm working on a pink AR
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